A bit too quiet is strange...

Hey there.

So, the boyfriend was telling me he was missing my blogs, and thought I'd write a few bits. First off, let me show you this video I saw a few days ago, just caught me when I felt a bit low. x

Love


First off, hi.
Giggle.
The past week.

Well, twas brill spending time with Shane last week, even though it felt short. Feels like I saw him two weeks ago, instead of a week ago.
Also, I paid off my course, woo hoo. So, no worries there.

My PCOS was driving me up the wall last week, cos felt my face was like a hairy person, so I got it waxed on Tuesday morning (couldn't get any other appointment).

PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovaries Syndrome)... Basically, its not very uncommon for women, and there's not a lot of information out there for it either.
The main factor is that women with this condition produce more male hormones than women's, so physical features in some women would be noticed like excess hairs on their facial area, or being overweight.
For example, with me, I'd get excess hair on my chin & neck. Usually I'd control this with waxing the area. At the start, about 2 years ago now, it was very bad when I started waxing. Used to wax every 3 days. Now, its every 2.5/3 weeks. When I first had this at age 13, I didn't know I had PCOS, and I used to use an electric shaver on my face. So, it's been thru a lot of torture.
You also crave sugary or sweet things, in particular chocolate, which you're supposed to cut down on.

Have not been on medication for it for a few months, because it didnt agree with me, and there's not a lot of other medication out there for the condition. Been eating so much chocolate as well, so its very hard to control.
So, in the next few years, would really consider laser treatment. This is the only other option for me, because my face has already gone thru so much damage the last 12 years, and this is why I get paranoid when people are looking at me, I think, what are they thinking of me now, do they see anything bad. It's kind of sad really.

So, until yesterday, I really wasn't feeling confident about myself, going walking outside and all that.

Let Shane stay the night at the house on Saturday night cos he was going to his cousin's houseparty. He told me there was a live band playing there, our old friends from school, Liam, Prionnsias, and a few others. They always used to be on the guitars when we were at secondary school, very cool guys. Lost touch though. They told Shane they're only really trying to start the band now, so really hope they do well.

I've put in some more CVs for jobs, and I've to receive a letter from my tutor saying I'm studying this part time course so that I can receive some Jobseekers Allowance. I'm very broke at the moment, and it's tough to say the least. Feel very down a lot of days, but sure that's life.

So, the Special Needs Ed course has been moved to Wednesday nights, which is where I'll be heading tonight, can't wait. They split the class in two, so should be 15 people with me. Looked at the notes the last two days really, and last Tuesday week, so kind of know the stuff. Not really worried about it.

Yesterday was really good though, it was lovely for most of the day. I met with my beautican Michelle, and got the face waxed and had to get the expensive face products cos my face was completely ruined without proper moisturiser and cleansers the past year. Got a discount on the waxing, but overall spent €90 on products and €31 on chin, lip and eyebrow wax. Keep thinking, I had to get it done. Ahhh, giggle!
After, I got ready to throw in a few CVs and met with Sandra for a gossip session, lol. Got chatting to Rosie as well, they're all good. They were trying to get me to take her pet hamster Gnasher from them soon, actually considering it. Really would love to give a pet some love, would love my own place with a dog.... A dream for now. :)
Then, had an hour with Shane before he went home, and got back to my place then, and cooked dinner.

It was Mairtin Antoine's birthday, and hoped there would have been a mass for him this week. Shane wasn't sure, so he did something personal last night to remember Mairtin by. I just said a little prayer. God, think it's been two years or so now, I think. So many teenagers dying of car crashes and suicides and murders. Life isnt fair at times.

x